Sunday, 15 December 2013

And The Winner Is....

Well, there you have it. The lady with the big voice who has been the obviously frontrunner since....ooh, pretty much the first week. Although I like Sam, I have to say I detest that winner's single, far too yelpy and wailey (Sam Wailey?) for my liking.

It's been an emotional rollercoaster of a series, and like I said at the start of this blog, not nearly as bad as many people are making out. Ok, so the final pulled in a record low of 8 million viewers, but I don't give a monkeys - 8 million is still a lot of people, and I for one have enjoyed every minute.

My last few random thoughts - where was Lorna during the group ensemble? Banned for bad-mouthing the show? According to the Daily Mail, Sam Bailey has already started having a bit of a pop at the X Factor. She better watch herself, or she'll be in the Tesco bargain bin faster than you can say 'Matt Cardle'.

Speaking of the lovely Matt, watching the contestants all mob Sam while she performs her winners single reminds me of 2010, when Harry Styles was clearly seen whispering in Matt's ear: 'You're going to get so much p**sy'. Isn't it funny how things turn out?

Join me in a couple of months when I'll be fondly blogging The Voice. Very excited about the new line up, I hear Kylie's been really good and Ricky Wilson has been quite the razor sharp wit.

Until then, farewell, readers!

Saturday, 14 December 2013

The Moment It's All Been Leading Up To: The X Factor Final

Is this the most predictable X Factor final in history? Does Sam Bailey really have it in the bag or will her fans get complacent? And can Luke do enough to tackle Scotland and net 2nd place over Little Nicky? My blog is being written live tonight so in the words of Ellie and Luke, anything could, quite literally, 'appen'.

For me tonight it was all about the barmy contestants supergroup medley. I'm quite surprised I can still type this having been blinded by Rylan's new teeth, but nevertheless, I think we can all agree that a barmy contestant is what's been sadly missing from this series of X Factor. And this performance more than made up for that! From Wagner playing the bongos in a pirate hat, to Johnny Robinson in his snazzy silver NASA jacket, and Kitty Brucknell riding in on a wrecking ball a la Miley Cyrus, this was British bonkers at its best. Why don't they do this every year?

' I want Sam Daley to win' squeals an awkward looking girl in the audience. She's clearly there on some free corporate tickets and doesn't give a shit about the X Factor.

Here's my run down of the performances:

Nicholas McDonald 
'Candy' ranged from dire to bizarre and back to dire again. He looks so awkward doing upbeat, but when you add in the fact that it's a bit of a rubbish song, plus a distracting, manic troupe of Willy Wonka style dancers, it seems pretty obvious that the producers are trying to get rid of Little Nicky.

'Flying Without Wings' - Nicky's had a lot of flack in the press this week for being saddled with the poorest, most has-been celeb to duet with. However, it is the perfect song for his voting demographic, who love a nice cheesy ballad. It was very awkward the way Nicky and Shane appeared to be singing this lovingly to each other, but the grannies probably won't pick up on that, and will vote in droves for the nice wee Scottish lad and his nice wee ballad.

Luke Friend
'We Are Young' -
Oh Luke, why are you so much worse when you don't have your guitar? Oh Luke, why does your mentor give you songs that start in a really low register which you clearly can't manage? Sharon would have done a great job with Luke, whilst Louis makes it patently obvious that the only things that matter are as follows: 1) people like you 2) people will buy your records 3)you're young. I don't think Louis actually cares about music at all. I'm quite cross at him for his poor handling of Luke.

'Anything Could 'Appen' -
Nice to see them go for a duet partner that's a bit of a contrast/compliment instead of just thinking 'who does this person sound similar to?' Luke + Ellie = a match made in heaven. Their voices complimented each other beautifully and I really didn't want this song to end. This could net him a few more votes but he has a lot of catching up to do after his first performance let-down.

Sam Bailey
'Edge of Glory - A very bizzare prison set and Sam stopping awkwardly mid-performance to slide down a pole (something that can never be graceful from a non-gymnast 36 year old woman). However, this couldn't hold back the almighty Sam from another stunning vocal performance.

'And I Am Telling You'
Note to Ms Scherzinger: Love, we all know you can hold a big note for a long time, it doesn't make it pleasant to listen to. Nicole has a horrible, squealing tone to her voice. Then when Sam cuts in it's a massive relief, perhaps a ploy to make us realise how good Sam is? This was a bit of a 'battle of the divas', as I feared it would be.

And there you have it, the votes are in and it's all very predictable and safe. I'm not too bothered because all I wanted was for Luke to make the final. I have no doubt that he will do really well for himself now. I'm just a bit sad that tomorrow's final is going to be a bit bland now. Apparently people in the audience were booing at this result! Poor Nicky! Tune in tomorrow to find out who the 'lucky' winner of X Factor 2013 will be.

Sunday, 8 December 2013

Semi-Final Results...dun dun durrrr!

This is a very condensed post tonight because I've been on a rare night out, which killed me knowing I was missing such a crucial stage of the competition, but hey, family birthday and all. So I whizzed through all the Leona/Buble glitz and went straight for the results.

Luke disappointed me in the sing-off. It was like he was trying to do a carbon copy of last week's 'Run' but had to start it in such a low register that it was quite uncomfortable to listen to. Not that Rough Copy were much better - they can be really flat sometimes.

Blogging this live as we speak....GET IN THERE! I bloody knew it would go to deadlock and I bloody knew Luke would poll more than Rough Copy. See what happens when you try to manipulate us, producers? No offence to Rough Copy, who as you may remember were my favourites before the lives. I have no doubt they will still do well. But Luke so deserved that spot in the final, look how happy he looks! Aww, bless! I do love this show!

Saturday, 7 December 2013

What The Shiitake Mushrooms Are The Producers Playing At?

I've been really getting into which gives a betting analysis on reality shows. For a perfect example of this and a really interesting read, see their article 'Abi Alton: A Case Study In Manipulation' Anyway, from reading this, I am older and wiser when it comes to how X Factor really works. And we have a perfect case in point tonight:

Sam Bailey and Nicholas McDonald are going nowhere. We know they have huge fan bases, they've never been bottom, one has an entire country voting for them. So really this week is all about the judges choosing between Rough Copy and Luke Friend.

For some unknown reason, the producers desperately want Rough Copy in the final - I suspect because Simon Cowell wants to replace the hole in his pocket left by JLS - he's got a lot of nappies to shell out for in the near future. So here we have a last ditch attempt to throw everything but the kitchen sink at pimping Rough Copy and playing down Luke. For a start they bring back the sing-off for the semi final, which they have only ever done once before. Yet again Luke is given the death slot, and introduced as a 'little boy', which is sure to alienate his girly fans. Rough Copy are given the pimp slot. Luke has faint praise to avoid rebound voting. Then for his second song he's given the same styling as Big Band Week, which was the only time he got bad comments (subliminal, folks!) I've seen it all before - it's shocking how blatant it is.

As for the performances themselves, I won't do it act by act this week as there are only 4 of them left. Instead, I will say that I love Sam Bailey and she deserves to win. She reminds me so much of the very underrated Jennifer Rush, who you younger readers probably don't remember. Nicky had a terrible week. Luke's first song was awesome but the second was disappointing. And Rough Copy were pleasantly surprising with their naked, stripped back vocals on 'Sorry Seems To Be...'

Obviously, we will have a Luke vs Rough Copy final, and my only hope is that Sharon 'goes rogue' as Sofabet put it - ie. she goes against what the producers have told her to do (keep Rough Copy) and sends it to deadlock. If RC really have polled bottom, that would be a great two fingers up to X Factor manipulation. Viva La Revolution!

Sunday, 1 December 2013

The Judges Take It To Dreadlock

Wow, I actually called it right tonight! I knew Sharon would save Luke and it would go to deadlock!

This was one of the most tense results shows I can think of. My least favourite and most favourite, pitted against each other. I just really, really wanted Luke to beat Tamera, and I got my wish!

In all fairness, this was a really good sing off performance from Tamera - she's at her best when she's belting out big ballads. If you can ignore the karaoke-style arm flapping, that is. And Luke really knows how to work a crowd, you could really feel the atmosphere in the crowd tonight, and Louis was helping whip them into a frenzy. TV Gold!

Other thoughts: I expect the audience were given a stern warning about booing James Arthur, but just to be on the safe side, they encased him in a giant glass cage during his performance. I have to admit I kind of like his music, but would never buy it because of how unpleasant he is. Rebecca Ferguson seemed to have some tuning issues, but I've heard the studio version of that song and it's pretty good, so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

But never mind all that - so incredibly happy for tonight's result. Roll on next week, woop woop!